Where to start?
My life is a mess right now and I love it!
For a while I couldn't even pretend to be happy...
too much was going on and I just hated myself to be honest.
I felt like I was doing everything wrong...
But now...
Idk, I really feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be for once.
Like all the bullshit that has been my life for the past
few years has been for a reason.
It's led me to this point.
Not to say that my life is perfect right now cause it's far from it..
I just started school full time again and I'm
remembering how much that sucks when
you're working full time and have kids.
But I enjoy it at the same time...it'll be worth
it one day.
So I'm told...lol
Work is crap...I quit a job I really enjoyed at one
point to work a job I tolerate for the most part.
Work is work...I'm still searching for that job that
I look forward to going to each morning. Seems
like I bounce from job to job lately. I just haven't
found what I'm looking for and I don't settle.
I really haven't had much time for "friends" lately,
or to be fair I really haven't made too much time
for them. I feel torn between two lives. The one I had
with my friends going out all the time...partying. Just
living it up! And the life I feel myself falling into...
a family life. Something I had at one point a long, long
time ago. Something I've wanted to get back.
I have a very self destructive personality...I'm
completely aware of it and yet I can't seem to
change it. I'm trying to though...I quit smoking.
I'm trying to kick most of my self destructive
habits, I feel like I'm fighting myself and trust
me it's not an easy thing to do. I am with out a
doubt one stubborn, tough, bitch. lol
The drama is always the same with the ex...no
need to get into that. Let's just say I'm taking
care of it.
I will have my life figured out one day...until then I am
surprisingly content with the way it's going for now.
I'm happy and I'm not gonna let anyone or anything change that.
